Poem: "Waters of Uncertainty"

You'll have to excuse me for looking awestruck.

I've never heard a man wanting my mind first. See, all the others just wanted to f*ck. 

I may seem distant but it's only because I'm fearful of being close to you. 

They made me the hard "b*tch" I'm labeled...what do you expect me to do? 

I'm looking at your hands, picturing them holding my heart and crushing it to pieces.

If not that, I'm watching them slither into my pockets. See, I'm used to leeches. 

I don't mean to keep comparing but you understand the history of my life. 

I've been broken and patched back up; my heart is black but inside I feel it wants to do right. 

Maybe that's why your here; if not i guess god still has more work to do. 

You seem too good to be real, inside I have so many doubts. That's why I keep questioning you. 

I'm rearranging my mental, seeing as though I've been praying for 4 years for your arrival.

To my life, you can be vital. Sorta like when Ruth met Boaz in the bible.

Charge it to my needs, I've been holding back for good cause.

I've been addicted to counterfeit love; at times I may experience withdraws.

Self medicating I claim to have been satisfied alone but I swear that wasn't the case.

Your nothing like I seen before, I'm open for a fact & that should be written all over my face. 

I won't "sabotage" our union; can you show me this is really real?

Can you kill the weeds of yesterday?  rake my soul? and plant seeds of love that grow strong and kill this anxiety I feel? 

I'm dying of thirst, water my garden and be who you say you are. 

Change my perception; I'm open to this new love. Let this stream abundantly, I don't care how far 

Waters of uncertainty; join me in this three braided cord of you, me, and our father. 

You've invoked my passion to love, thru the uncertainty. So if you can't handle my position or are prepared for this. Don't bother...