Honesty Hour: My Letter To a Young Sister "Respect Yourself/The Other Woman"

Still from a Video/Song "The Boy is Mine" from two of my favorite R&B Singers Brandy N Monica that I STILL can't watch/listen to

Photo Credit: IamSuperGeorge

I, of course wanted to write this in the form of a letter BUT I feel better just putting my thoughts out there the way they are flowing out of my mind right now. So, yesterday I posted Crazy....Deranged and hinted at a situation I had encountered over the weekend...the picture above describes how I spent the earlier part of my Sunday, The Holy Sabbeth....attempting to not entertain foolishness of "phone-thuggin" from a certain young lady.

The Situation

As a Grown Woman, Single and Unattached to anybody dealing with a "to my knowledge" Grown Man whom is Single and Unattached to anybody- I had no knowledge that by talking/dealing with them that I would be imposing on someones man. Boy was I wrong...

I know he had a Baby Mama, and that guys was a red flag right there. I Can't Date A Man W/ Children....but I digressed on it because we weren't dating. I went against my better judgement in an effort to give him the benefit of the doubt and ultimately....a chance.

We spent some time together and in the back of my mind, I KNEW it was only a matter of time before I got a random phone call because this is life.....THE REALITY: I got back to back phone calls....from random and blocked numbers.....text message essays about me needing to answer my phone & talk to this young lady "woman to woman".

I was floored! & for a moment, Laughed.

Not on the Sabbeth! Not on my "rest" day!

I prayed for God to give me patience and discernment because if he gave me strength

I was gonna be in my car! 

The calls I ignored kept coming & it wasn't so funny anymore. 

Then He Calls....."WTF!? Why are you coming at me with this?" was my question. "No disrespect, but I need you to talk to her and let her know...." CLICK. I hung up, I don't play these games anymore.

I turned 24 years old no less than a month ago, and I'm going through a period of transition in my life. My Career, Living & enjoying Single Life, New Found Independence, and My Family....I Do Not Have Time For This Shit! 

I made that clear by simply stating about 10 times "talk to your man" and I did what I could to block both of them from texting and calling.

Now, it being two days later...my heart goes out to the Poor, Young Lady.

"You So Crazy".....Classic
Photo Credit: thetruthrenaissance

Not too long ago, I was in her shoes. Not as a Baby Mama...But as Crazy...Deranged.

Photo Credit Amors Thoughts

When I dealt with "the other woman" I lost me, I lost my soul, I lost my damn mind; So I feel for ol girl. 

I too, allowed the actions of two grown ass people, determine my happiness- my life- and ultimately how I view men now. Instead of having the common sense to realize that "If I have trust issues, and your behavior isn't showing me that I really need to make the effort to change that, Then I don't need to be with you" I continued to torture myself, to torture him, and to hinder both our lives by "searching" through phones, checking bags, checking cars....Looking for heartache. When CLEARLY...ding ding ding....it's right there without you having to look.

& Don't even get me started on why the hell she thought it was cool to come to me?

Ladies, PLEASE Don't you ever fix your phone to dial up/ your feet to walk over/ or contact via social networking the woman whom you suspect is allegedly "The Other Woman". There are two consenting parties here and " The Other Woman " weather she knows about you, your situation, or not...owes you NOTHING. Your issue is with "your man".

Blame it on our age, lack of wisdom, or just a plain ol' misinterpretation of  "Love".....

Ladies, We Have to do Better!

2 Important Tips I want to stress in this honesty hour as as follows:

• When entering a friendship/talking to/relationship etc. with a new man, ASK QUESTIONS. Read these dudes EARLY and save yourself some time. Learning about a person as much as you possibly can before investing your time, your love, and ultimately a place in your heart is key in being a Grown Ass Woman.

• Know when to play a hand and when to fold. Only you are responsible for what you allow to take place in a relationship. I had to learn that hard way....because for so long when involved, I played that "Why does he keep doing THIS to me?" & the answer was simple...Because I Let Him! I allowed it to continue.

Hopefully, this short but informative Honesty Hour hit some nerves, My only intent with this is to open your eyes the same way I would want someone to through a testimony.