Breakdown...(POEM)

Stay down mama! Gotta be strong, don't break down mama!

Please..

~ J.Cole "Break Down"

Pressure mounting, IDK where to turn

Seem like I enjoy being in the fire, I like the feeling of being burned

All I try to do is live right and not do wrong

I'm tired of being the bigger person, I'm tired of being so damn strong

Am I wrong for hoping God enacts vengeance on my behalf greater than I could imagine?

Am I stupid for taking for granted, all the things that he did not let happen?

All the lessons learned, I feel like a fool for wasting my time

I can't believe I fell for the bullsh!t!! what the hell was on my mind?

Restless I am, Broken my heart, is but instill I keep fightin

Seem like that only peace I get is when I'm drinking, smoking, or writin

Nobody prepared me for "this life" in the womb they left out the struggle I would partake

I got more bills than money, the more love I give, the more they waste it & take

I've put my life in the hands of men, instead of trusting God I trust these particles of dust

So it's amazing to me, how I get so mad when they show me they don't give a f#ck

I've been wrong, done wrong so I guess this is the karma for me

Lack a decent reason to keep believing, but God's the only one showing me sincerity

Where does this lane go? which exit will be mines to make?

I've repented for the sh!t I've done, Forgave these people, Why does THAT feel like a mistake?

Seems like every time I turn around another wrench is being thrown in my game

Besides the bullsh!t, I guess I should be happy for air to breathe, life left, & my name.

I see why people become addicted to drugs, strung out on alcohol, and pop pills

Being hurt and scarred so bad, it'll drive a sane person to kill

I feel the pressure mounting, IDK where to turn. I'm screaming without sound

Tell what a real woman supposed to do, when she has no choice but to breakdown?

Babylon...