Spotlight: Get Yours!! Should I Approach Him or NOT???

The Situation


At a recent training I got to interact with a handsome gentleman whom appeared to be the "GQ" of his team. I say that only to insinuate that he was extremely well kept and sported for all three sessions, very appropriate attire for a man of his profession. I'm talking dreads freshly re-twisted, clean shaven, and the stance of a true man.

That's what first got me. I Love a sharp dressed man....*cues pic of Jay*  

We spoke frequently throughout the training and it was clear (at least to me) that we were feeling one another; SN: I could have just been imagining this. During his presentation he focused on me from time to time and I felt butterflies, I didn't know whether it was just anxiety because it's been so long since I've been attracted to someone like this, or exhaustion due to all the dry material his team covered. Either way, I felt inside that I wanted to know more about this suave man. He spoke with such vigor I was theroughly pleased; He was articulate, funny, and appeared like he really enjoyed his job. a clear WIN.

I went home and spoke with my mother, My only confidant besides God about it and she advised that I should approach him and just say "I'd like to get to know you on a friend level" and see how it goes.0_o for real mama? I'm NOT interested in being simply "friends" with this man. My parent's have been married going on 27 years, so her take may not be as recent as I needed, so I thought about my history "approaching" men.

I approached my last boyfriend and throughout the relationship I felt it was my duty to take the initiative to make things happen, take things to another level, and that wasn't something I wanted.

I remembered advice from my father, "A Woman approaching a Man, A Real Man messes up the natural order of things. Men love a challenge and love the Chase.....If he really about his sh*t, He'll approach you. Know this". Of course because it's dad, and NOBODY has or possibly will ever be on his level for me- I didn't know how to take this advice.

Mean while, here it is the final day of training- I have to leave early and miss out on seeing/talking to my "Work Boo" (solely in my mind) and I'm at a stand-still. I have no clue on how I should go about this situation. Training ends and I Thank Him for being a GREAT instructor...to which he replied and I quote "my pleasure, you made my presentation"...I stood dumbfounded. Was that the bait? if so, I FAILED!!!!

The "Independent Woman"  side of me is saying "GO FOR IT! Get Yours!!!. He can either entertain you or state he's not interested/he's taken/married/not looking" Take a chance....Live A Little *in my Sheneneh Voice* I know his name, His email is in outlook....quick phone call and exchange of personal numbers and IT'S ON.

  

BUT

The more logical side of me remembers, at the end of the day...

I found myself at a crossroads....so just like in school, when I don't know something for sure....I Google It.

Google Search: should a woman approach a man

one of the 1st posts to come up was a Christian post, how necessary.

Can You Give Me Some Christian Dating Advice As A woman On Whether I Should Approach This Guy I Like - I'm Pretty Sure He Likes Me Too!

Here's the fun part.

"I think as a lady you have to be careful if you are thinking about approaching a guy that you like because it can backfire on you even if the guy initially liked you.
The reason I say that is because guys by nature like to chase, and having a lady chase you can sometimes be a turn off for some guys. Men by nature are hunters and if a lady is the one doing the chasing it can sometimes spoil the thrill of the chase." 

"some guys are okay with ladies approaching them especially guys that are very shy and nervous when it comes to speaking to women, but I believe that the majority of guys would prefer to do the chasing."

"Guys can be very proud, if you as a lady are the one initiating a relationship or a date with a guy, he might end up not really respecting you and giving you the value and honor you deserve because he didn't work hard to get you."

"He might even start bragging to his friends that you are the one that chased him, he might see it as you being easy or desperate, even if he agrees to date you or be in a relationship with you it could just be because you made it easy for him and he might initially go with the easy option but if he later finds someone else that he would prefer to date then it would be easy for him to leave because you made it easy for him in the beginning and as the saying goes "easy come, easy go" Cite: Dating Advice 4 Christian Singles

The Solution


NOW, I know that one man's opinion is not all, so I prayed on it. (it's that serious) and I felt inside that I wouldn't be right attempting to "thrust" myself upon a dude, it makes me uncomfortable and honestly, I don't like particularly being the agrees-or in male/female interactions. I'm not a desperate woman although at times I mope about wondering Why I'm Single? or Why Everybody Got Somebody But Me? but it is what it is.

If he was interested enough, I'm sure he would've (maybe will) come at me. I want to be courted, and it's just how it is.

It's interesting to know that some men feel differently about being approached. Some feel flattered, other's see the female as "easy"....

In any event I'm glad  I took the time to look up opinions and ways to go about it. I'm just gonna wait....When I do find the one God wants for me.....