Honesty Hour: "Tired of Tired" (Poem)

I’m so tired of feeling rundown, out of sync, and tired. When the backbone of everyone else falls…who am I to run to, to be inspired? When the days seem to run into each other and patience is none. Whose there to make sure I’m alright? Make sure my soul is one? I’m broken into pieces, my heart and mind depleted. Tired of “fixing” myself, tired of disregarding mis-treatment. Experiencing loss. My only wish is that she knows how much I love her. Inside, I often wonder does he realize my hatred for him didn’t end with what we were. That’s how my mind goes, from one upset to another let-down. I can’t even focus on God’s Blessings lifting me up, I’m so used to being alone; nobody around. It’s a cycle. You wake up, you go to work, you do your job, and you go home. Then even when you get there, to a house full of loved ones, you still feel all alone. Is that even normal? I couldn’t possibly be going insane. I got breath in my body; trivial issues should be just that -you try telling that to my brain. Got People criticizing your gifts, nit-pik at your craft. But when things get really real, they wanna downplay the games and laugh. Can you understand my situation? Can you feel where I’m coming from? Or do you look at me and see a repeating pattern, and feel that at this point in my life I should be numb? They say pain brings change….change brings happiness…but then pain comes again It’s a cycle I’ve come to know too well, loss of a lover, loss of a grandmother, loss of a friend I’m so tired of feeling this way…so tired of carrying around with me all this baggage I speak my dreams into existence, so tell me why does it hurt when I reach up to the heavens to grab them? Pain is apart of life, but when do you get a damn break? When does God see that enough is enough, that you’ve taken all you can take?

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