Honesty Hour: "The Morning After- Part II"

January 18, 2012

Honesty Hour: "The Morning After- Part II"

“A broken heart only hurts if you leave it cracked. Don’t be afraid to let somebody else heal it”

“A Woman only has one heart & when it's broken too many times...she builds up a wall to protect it.”

Have you ever wondered how you would make it thru the day?

Well, that was the first thought on my mind when my alarm clock went off at 4:30am. My eyes were sore, my chest still pounding and my heart still felt cracked open; I knew there was no way I could get out of bed and face the day in my condition, so I laid back down and prayed.

Heartache is no easy thing, and whoever says they get over “getting their heartbroken” like it’s nothing….is lying. Time does not heal all wounds…that’s bullsh*t. When someone/something really hurts you, it hurts. When you lose someone and you don’t fully grieve, it hurts. When you build up all these emotions by putting on a fake smile and forcing yourself to go to work, go to school, and attempt to be happy when inside your broken…eventually you blow the f*ck up! It’s only the human experience.

I’ve been thru so much these past few years, I’ve overcame and fallen, and now I stand here an emotionally broken woman, I lashed out. Am I remorseful? Of course. Am I wrong in being hurt by the actions of others and finally saying “enough is enough? Not by a long shot; I did things the wrong way though…in the heat of the moment, I let my emotions get the best of me, not remembering “Vengeance is mine sayeth the lord”.

There’s only so much one person can take, everybody knows that. You can’t keep a recovering crack head inside a crack house 247 and expect that person not to relapse. You can’t attack a person’s mind and dabble in business you shouldn’t and expect it to keep being overlooked.

I’ve asked God for forgiveness, I’ve apologized.

Now, there’s a lesson to be learned from all of this. I’ve figured it out today when I had a real good cry, followed by a moment of pure silence to experience God’s Voice.

1. You cannot love anyone, until YOU LOVE YOURSELF.

2. You cannot bring back the loved ones you’ve lost, God makes no mistakes when he takes someone away.

3. You cannot make a man love you, stay with you, marry you, or appreciate you. HE must do so.

4. You cannot make a person change their ways, friends become distant and out-grow each other. Best friends remain together…always.

5. You cannot be the only person in a friendship/relationship putting forth the effort to make it work or make things better.

And finally…

6. You cannot be accountable for the actions of anyone but yourself. When someone is stupid enough to walk away from you and you’re a decent person. LET THEM GO!

I have so much work to do in myself that I feel it necessary to create a New me. By that, I mean taking a look at myself…inch by inch and focusing on my strengths as well as my weaknesses.

I AM HUMAN. Fully capable of experiencing things that we all go through.

Times may be tough right now but I’m bigger than this. My GOD is bigger than this.

I WILL MAKE IT THRU

It’s time for me and those like me who have held onto pain, grief, anger, frustrations, and grudges against people for years to LET IT GO! Life is too short.

These songs go out to all of us. Everything’s Gonna Be Alright, be Optimistic because The Lord Will Make A Way….He can Pick you UP, Hold your Hand, and Lead the way, So You Can Smile Again…..He’s able, if you just Imagine yourself Trusting him Totally.